Conflict doesn't suck. You suck at conflict.
I used to think conflict really sucked. I avoided it like the plague (or covid) and became adept at sweeping my own needs under the rug. However, conflict has the power to create deeper understanding, increasing emotional intimacy, and better, more sustainable relationships when it's done REALLY WELL. This course will teach you how to confidently navigate conflict in a way that leaves both people feeling better...not worse. If you despise conflict as much a I did, you’re in the right place!
Stop fighting about who left the garage light on (and other inconsequential things).
Communication is hard and most of us weren’t taught how to have healthy conflict in our relationships. I’ve spent years compiling the best strategies from leading research as well as my own personal experiences to create the most effective, efficient, and comprehensive relationship workshop available. In this course, I’ll teach you my simple, step-by-step process to help you get results in your most important (or even unimportant) conversations so that you can create a relationship you LOVE.
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Your course purchase includes a 3-Module online course sent weekly to your inbox and available 24/7 in your learning portal. Each module includes practical, easy-to-follow trainings to support you in creating a partnership you love. Some techniques you’ll learn are:
• Module 1: The Emotional Intent & Clarity Tool
I want you to be able to end an argument BEFORE it happens. Not being able to communicate deeply will keep you in the cycle of having the same, ridiculous arguments on repeat.
The first and most overlooked step in clear communication is to clearly understand your own emotional intent and the intent of the person with whom you're interacting. This tool will allow you to deep-dive under the surface of the behaviors you don't like (in yourself or others) and get to the roots of the problems in your relationship.
• Module 2: Ninja-like Communication Skills
Learning and implementing just one of these communication skills is proven to significantly improve scores on measures of relationship satisfaction… we cover EIGHT.
• Module 3: The Conflict Map Tool
This module is an in-depth training on the Conflict Map Tool. People often ask me, "What do I do next?" or "What should I say next?" when I'm helping them through tough conversations. They know that what's habitual hasn't been beneficial. Breaking old relational habits and coming up with the next best step is about thinking about tough conversations in a whole new way, and the Conflict Map and Training help you do just that.
• BONUS MODULE - Sex Drives & Date Nights
In these bonus videos we demystify sex drives and help you get your mojo back with emotional intimacy and date nights.
Lastly, you’ll also get access to weekly live Q&A sessions and a 6-month membership to our Facebook Support Group where you can ask questions, share your wins, and get support on your conflict-busting journey.
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This course is for you if:
• You avoid uncomfortable interactions like the plague (like me circa 2002).
• Fights escalate into defensiveness and/or yelling quickly.
• You may have started sweeping your own wants and needs under the rug because, "It's not worth the fight."
• On a scale of 1-10 (10 being AWESOME), you would score the emotional intimacy (feeling deeply seen and understood and like you both have positive regard for each other and warm ooey gooey thoughts) a 6 or below on most days.
• You grew up in a family that didn't know a whole lot about the kind of marriage and relationships you want (me neither!).
• You don't both leave the uncomfortable interaction feeling BETTER.
• You feel resentment building or like you have a short fuse or emotional wall making vulnerability increasingly uncomfortable.
• You believe your partner "overreacts" or that his/her responses are "ridiculous".
• And, if this has been going on for a while, you may be finding it's hard to LIKE your partner anymore.
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The Effects Of Not Doing Conflict Well Are Cumulative
When you don't reach a full resolution where both people feel better at the end of a conflict, you end up sweep resentments (or pieces of it) under the relationship rug.
Over time, this leads to what I call POOP-COLORED GLASSES.
By the time clients get to my office (I'm a licensed Psychotherapist and Relationship Coach with Degrees in Marriage and Family Counseling) they usually have a multitude of conflicts and a proverbial elephant underneath that relationship rug...and that elephant is pooping.
When we have that much stuff under our relationship rug it impacts HOW WE SEE the other person, their behaviors and their intent. Instead of having on rose-colored glasses, we now have on (you guessed it) POOP-colored glasses - making miscommunication more likely to occur.
This snowball effect is cumulative and an insidious part of relationship demise. Relationships don't just break one day, they break insidiously, very slowly over time.
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Developed over almost 20 years of seeing clients who suck at conflict, this is the same process I take both myself and my clients through (and costs less than one private counseling session). I know this process works because I have seen it improve not just communication, but whole relationships and lives time and time again.
I love the results this online program has created for couples so much that it’s been a non-negotiable part of my intensive 3 and 6-month couples counseling programs that cost $2000-3000+.
“This is an amazing course. It completely changed the way my husband and I communicate with each other. I have read every self-help book there is and nothing has stuck like the information I learned here.”
-Suzy N.
“I can’t wait for module 3! There has already been THOUSANDS of dollars worth of therapy in this course.”
-Anonymous
Try It Out Risk-Free For 7 Days!
I know this program works because it's part of the exact same process that's been behind HUGE relationship turn-arounds in my own life and those of my clients. However, if you're on the fence...or if you're skeptical if change is even possible for you, then I want to give you every chance to start this program with absolute confidence. That's why I'm giving you a FULL 7 DAYS in the program at no risk. Choose to quit by day 7 and you'll receive a full refund.
FAQ’s
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Absolutely! I've had several people take the course without their partner and still are able to create change in their marraige. When I work with couples I tell them that from here on out your only problem, project, and solutuion is YOU. Cleaning up your part of the problems in your relationship is the only thing you have control over and partner participation isn't necessary for this to occur.
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Kids tend to magnify issues already present in the relationship while decreasing time to sufficiently deal with the issues. The course works to help busy couples slice through conflict, resentment, and hard conversations more efficiently and increase emotional intimacy...whether kids are in the picture or not. The course is parent-focused, but childless couple-friendly. While no explicit parenting information is reviewed, I use these skills, strategies, and mindsets in my relationships with my kids as well. Many of the skills for healthy relationships with your spouse are the same skills necessary for healthy relationships with your children.
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You'll have access to your online course portal for 6 weeks and the secret Facebook community forever! However, you can download the content and rework the program for as long as you both shall live.
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I want you to fit this program into your life in any way you can (while driving to work, while walking the dog, while cleaning...). I know doing the modules together is not ideal for most people. If partners do the Modules separately I suggest setting up a weekly 30-minute meeting with each other to discuss the material.
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If the choice is between consulting a divorce lawyer or this course, this course is not for you. Your relationship may deserve some 1-on-2 attention in the form of counseling or mediation. If you are not sure if this course is for you schedule a call with me or shoot me an email and we can discuss your options. I want you to be clear about what will work best for you.
